The question

"This isn't working out, I dont think we should be together anymore...." and then there was that awkward silence. About 3 years ago, I found myself saying these very words to the man I was engaged to, the man I was about to call my husband.


(I know what you must be thinking, "What engagement? Who was engaged? and she called it off? Let me back track a couple of years so you can understand....)



I had met Ryan at a part time job that I had while attending school. He was tall, dark skinned, very handsome, and had a kind heart. We worked in the same area for about a year when one day he decided to just ask me out. Our relationship was your typical relationship now a days, call each other every day, spend the weekends together, blah blah blah. It was so typical that unfortunately, it became a routine.

Two years into our relationship, we had grown so close and accustomed to each other that we decided it was time for the next step, if your thinking "moving in together" your absolutely wrong! I wanted to do things the right way, the old fashioned way.

We got engaged...

He popped the question to me at a restaurant in Miami Beach on Ocean and 10th. I remember it like it was yesterday.

Everyone expects for things to be amazing from there on when you get engaged, but boy, it was the TOTAL opposite for me. The night of the engagement I messaged everyone in my phone the picture of my ring. I was ecstatic. And with much excitement the wedding planning began.

"What flowers are you going to get, what color are you going to choose for your bridesmaids dresses, have you booked a venue?" Those were the only questions that kept crossing my mind on a daily basis. That's when the overwhelming feeling began.

Let me tell you, wedding planning has to be one of the most exciting but yet nerve wrecking, time consuming, stressful moments a woman will ever go through in her life.

As the planning continued, I began to ask him for help with decisions for the wedding, of course, he gave me the typical male response, "baby, don't you think you should make the decisions so that everything turns out to be like you have always dreamt it to be?" WRONG answer! That basically means, "babe, if it was up to me there would be no wedding, just plan whatever you want and tell me where and when to show up!"

The first year after our engagement flew by, and now the wedding date was getting closer and I felt so unprepared. We decided to take a family trip to the Bahamas, we both felt the need to get away but sometimes when you wish to get away so much, you end up going away to a place that feels like a deserted island... our relationship was now as distant as that one important question was in my head, "will you marry me?" This was no longer a happy question in my mind, but one that I wondered if I had given the correct response to....