The roommate

I couldnt help but to be curious about what his roommate looked like. Mark never really gave me details on her. All he ever told me was that he wasnt with her...

I'm a female, it is in my nature to be suspicious and nosey...so here we go....

Mark had asked me to submit some papers for him at school so that he could get a spot in class he needed. I picked up the papers at his job and of course the envelope had the address on it, (YES, his home address).



I called my friend Lori and told her that I had the address, her being the great and nosey friend that she is came up with a brilliant idea.

YEP! You guessed it, WE drove to the house...

We parked on the corner of the street and grabbed a notebook from the trunk, we walked up to the house and rang the doorbell....


We knew someone was home because her car was parked outside (I knew her car because he had been driving it one day due to his car having issues). Supprisingly someone peaked through the curtain but never opened the door. Lori rang the doorbell again.

A woman opened the window by the door and rudely said, "Can I help you?"  I couldnt believe my eyes...there was no way this was the roomate, no way in hell.

I asked her if she could help us with an address that we were looking for and couldnt find.

"No"- she didnt want to help us.

I was persistant and asked why she couldnt just help us so she finally agreed. I made up an address in my head and said it to her, as she pondered, I observed every inch of her body.

She said, "Why dont you drive around to the next street, it might be there."

I said, "Thank you so much, I guess we'll look there, whats your name?"

and she replied, "Pam"

OMG THIS WAS THE ROOMMATE.

Lori and I rushed to the car and when we got in Lori asked a million questions, the first one was, "How old is she B?"

I had no idea how to answer to that question.

I stopped breathing, I couldnt believe this was the woman, I turned and looked at Lori and said, "I think shes in her 50's."

I realized that I had fallen...

I left....

As I drove home, his words lingered in my head, all I could do was wish things were different. I made it home to lay in bed and had a desire to run back to him, to let him know that I wanted to be with him too.

The next morning came and I had slept maybe two hours max. I showered and got dressed and headed to the hotel, I picked up some strong coffee to help relieve him from however much alcohol he had drank that night. And then the inevitable happened, I drove him home....

I think one of the hardest things to do is watch someone you really care about go into a place where you know there is another woman waiting to receive him...as I drove away I realized..."I'm in love with him."




Two days passed and I had been avoiding him, and as much as I wanted to continue avoiding his calls and messages, it was time to see him in person. I got to class at the exact time that professor began the experiment for the day so that little time was allotted for him to make conversation, that was the day that I wanted to just finish my experiment as prompt as I could to get out of there and avoid him.

I rushed through my task, and handed in my assignment and stormed out of the classroom. As I approached my car, I heard my name, I didn't turn around hoping it could be anyone calling me, but I couldn't continue lying to myself, it was him. I turned around and he told me to please not avoid him, he asked me to give him an opportunity to clear up what had happened over the weekend.

"Bianca, I cant lie to you, I don't want to lie to you. I haven't been able to get you out of my head all weekend, you're in my every thought, in my dreams, your the first and last person I think about when I sleep. Do you understand that? Do you understand that I cannot control what I feel for you? Please say something to me, don't just stay quiet."

But thats just it...all I could do was stay quiet.

What was I supposed to do? After everything that I've been through with life and love, all I could wonder was why this was happening to me? Was this really how I was going to meet my dream guy? Could this be my prince charming, or was he going to destroy me like  every other heart breaker had done?

The sign on the road

I didn't hesitate to jump in my car and run to his rescue. Aren't men suppose to run and rescue women? Well in this story, I was running to rescue him.

All I remember him telling me was that he was on US 1 and that he could see my last name on a sign, to my surprise, the first thing that crossed my mind was, "Riviera Drive."

I got to Riviera drive and he was sitting on the curve. I pulled up and he got in. I had no idea what to say, none the less what to ask? So many questions crossed my mind. The moment he got in the car he looked at me and said, "wow, you look amazing." I dared to ask what happened and he said that he had gone to dinner with his roommate and they had gotten into a fight and she had taken the car.

Yes, I said SHE.

Mark lived with a woman whom supposedly he had no relationship with, they just shared a home. Unfortunately, I believed him. I preferred to be naive in order to pretend he was my happiness.

As I headed to drop him off at his "shared" home, he continued to tell me how grateful he was that I came to him when he needed me the most. I really was not sure as to whether I  had once again made a mistake in my life in answering that phone call.

That night felt like it was eternal, only half an hour had gone by and I felt like I had driven for miles. I continued heading to the place I didn't want to go to, his home. As we started to get closer he asked me if I could do him a favor, he wanted me to take him to a hotel, he didn't want to go home.

At this point, all I could really do is either take him where he asked or go against him and take the chance of fighting. Under the circumstances I was in, I thought it was best for me to just take him where he wanted to go.

We arrived at the hotel, so I checked him in... When I went to leave him he told me he needed to tell me how he felt... I was scared, I didn't know what to expect with him anymore... I stayed and listened....

"Bianca, I don't know why this is happening, I don't know why you came into my life now, I don't know why I am getting these feelings, I don't know a lot of things in my life but the one thing I do know is that I've fallen for you, and there is nothing I can do to change that... I want to make this work...I need you in my life, you make me happy...."

After I listened to those words, I was speechless.

"I need you..."

Meanwhile on the other side of town, all my friends were doing their own thing. Veronica was now dating Frank, Lori was in her 5 year relationship, Julie was caught up with a complicated situation, and my friend Rachel and I were falling apart, our relationship had grown very distant and sadly I knew it was all because of a boy, it wasn't even a boy in my present but a boy in my past.

Halloween was a month after I had called off my engagement. I was looking forward to going to a costume party with my friend Lori and her bf. I was super excited, I was going to be a flapper, I dressed up in my skimpy blue dress and black high heels, beads around my neck and a cute head band with feathers in my hair.  Lori and I got were getting ready at her house, when I received a phone call. It was Rachel. " Hey B, I wanted to see if you wanted to go to a halloween party with me," she asked. "Aww I would, but I already had made plans with Lori," I replied. She didnt seem to mind, but I was wrong.

The night arrived fast, and to my surprise we were heading to the party, since I wanted to leave the party by 2am, I decided to take my car. As I drove there, all I could do is think about Mark.

Mark and I had been texting every day but we barely got to see each other except for in our chemistry lab. Things were pretty much at a standstill....

As we arrived to the party all of Loris' friends were already in the back with music playing loud, drinks everywhere, and the best atmosphere you can imagine. Lori and I danced our butts off when in the middle of a song I felt my phone vibrating. When I looked at the caller ID to my surprise, it was him..."Mark 786-555-7777 is calling."

I walked inside the house and headed towards the front where it wasnt as loud. I had missed the call by the time I went inside, I wondered why was he calling me at midnight, he never calls me this late. Things were odd with him....

I called back and he said, "Bianca, I need you, come get me please...."






"Falling in love when everything is telling you not to..."

The next day

The next day...

I woke up super early and actually tried to look nice for school. I straightened my hair, did my makeup, put on nice clothes, nice shoes....basically the works! I'm sure that at one point in our lives we all have dressed to impress, if not every day then at least one day.

When I arrived to school that morning, an extra hour early I might add, I walked to class and waited patiently for my new partner to walk in.... I waited and waited and waited and nothing. He was no where to be found, what a disappointment, "he's not coming." I turned and said to Lori. "At least you look nice,  you should dress like this every day not like a little boy with your big shirts, jeans and sneakers," Lori said.

"OK guys, I'm going to demonstrate how to open your gas valves and how to spark a fire...", the professor explained. As she was in the middle of the demonstration, the door opened and there came in the guy I had been waiting for. (talk about wanting to make an entrance, in my head I saw fog around him, the lights dim, he had a glow around his face, it was almost like seeing Brad Pitt walk into the room) (OK, OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit :)) but point is he looked gorgeous!

He stood next to me and all I could do what stand still as if my knee caps had locked. I'm not even sure if i was breathing, "everyone open your valves and check to see if they work," said the professor. "Do you know how to open the valves?" he asked. I didn't even speak, he must of thought I was mute, "how embarrassing, what is wrong with me," that's all that scrambled through my head.

I showed him how to open it and turned my back and continued speaking to Lori as if he wasn't even near me. ( I know what you must be thinking, why in the world was I giving him the cold shoulder, trust me, I have no idea).

Because of my lack of attention to the professor, I failed to hear her say that we needed to close our valves again. Well, you can just imagine what happened next. The professor told us to spark up a fire and she demonstrated how, as I tried to figure out how to use my gadget, I heard Mark ask, "doesn't it smell like gas?" Just as I went to spark my fire, he grabbed my hand and yelled, "wait!" I obviously had left my gas open and almost caused the first explosion at my college! That would have definitely been the last time I spoke to him, since we all would have caught on fire....




BUT fortunately this caused Lori, her bf , mark and I to laugh and actually have a conversation! At the end of that lab, Mark asked me if I was understanding the homework assignments and I told him yes, so I offered to help him out if he wanted, he said YES! (whoot whoot) He asked me for my number and I of course gave it to him because it was only school related (jk).

I had never walked out of a chemistry lab so happy in my life, everyone walked out super exhausted and miserable and then there was me with a big smile from ear to ear, talking like a chatter box. Lori walked with me to my car and I told her that he asked me for my number.

That afternoon as I was driving home, stuck in the usual traffic on the palmetto expressway, I got a text message that said, "hey."

Chemistry

So I went to my first day of a chemistry lab and I was so bummed, I was having a crappy day. The weather was bad, the day was taking forever and to top things off, I wasn't going to have a lab partner because there was one student missing in the class. My friend Lori told me that if the last student didn't come in I would be part of their group.

"Remember to always write your lab partners name on every assignment you turn in...," said the professor as she read the syllabus.

I couldn't wait for this two hour lab to be over. As I killed time talking to Lori and her boyfriend the front door opened and there he was....

We all at least one time in our lives have run into a guy that just makes our jaws drop. Well that's exactly what this guy was to me. I turned to Lori and hoped he wouldn't end up being my lab partner but sure enough he was. The professor told him to stand next to his partner whose name is Bianca, she asked me to raise my hand so that he could see who I was, and there he came, heading in my direction, as if he was my prince charming. That was the one day I wished I had actually tried to dress nice for school :/ every outfit that I had in my closet passed through my mind at the speed of a bullet, anything would have been better than the big shirt and baggy jeans I had on, oh and to top things off, I was wearing sneakers..... YUCK!

 

He came over to me and said hello. I really didn't want to have a conversation with him because I was so nervous. I had never been so nervous to speak to a guy like I was with this guy. How ironic for this to happen in chemistry class.

 

He seemed very shy at first, I, of course wanted to break the ice so that we both wouldn't feel uncomfortable so I asked him his name, "my name is Mark," he replied.

 

 

Mark was my new, hot, lab partner...thing is I wasn't even aware at how far my new lab partner and I would get....for now, I thought it was just a crush, but I was very wrong....

Fear

One of the biggest fears woman have is to end up alone, I know that after my fast breakup with my ex, I thought my world was over. I thought I would never be able to really pick myself up again and find the strength and most importantly the courage to let someone else into my life. But fortunately when you have great friends by your side, the recovery is ten times easier....

After my engagement had come to a shocking end, I found myself hating men. All that crossed my mind was the fact that I could never really put my self out there again, and honestly I really never wanted to be vulnerable.

I had recently met a friend of course through my ex fiancees friend, who's name is Lori. I'm going to paint a picture of who Lori is. Lori is small, thin, blonde, amazing figure, and if that's not already a great description, she had an amazing personality to top things off. Lori like all my other friends is a year older than me. When I first met Lori, I knew her and I would become great friends, sure enough we did.

THE NIGHT OF THE BREAK UP...

The night of my break up the only person I turned to was Lori. I found her name come into my head first.
"Lori, I did it, I couldn't pretend anymore...I woke up feeling like I couldn't breathe and I just called him and told him that we were done. He didn't say anything, he stayed quiet and I didn't know what to do or say to make things better."

Lori said, "B, your going to be fine, you did what you thought was right, you couldn't stay in a relationship that you weren't happy in anymore...I'm going to come pick you up, get ready...."

I sat in my bath tub and just let the water fall on me, was I really making the right move? Was I really willing to give up everything that I had known for so many years? Fear, that's all I felt. I feared I was making the wrong decision. But I feared I was making the wrong decision for all the wrong reasons....

The football game...

Lori picked me up and dragged me to a football game that she had an extra ticket for. As we were walking in through the gate I came face to face with my ex fiancees sister. Mind you, no one except for my ex and Lori knew what had happened. Do you tell her? Or act like nothing has happened? Here is the thing, if I choose to tell her, shes going to judge me for being at a game when i just ended my engagement, but if i chose not to tell her she would simply find out when she got home and would judge me regardless.

"Don't worry B, it is what it is, shes going to have her opinion regardless so lets just enjoy the game," said Lori.

As I sat in the bleacher, everyone is shouting out for their favorite team, people are laughing, smiling, drinking, having a great time....and all I seemed to feel was out of place, I had never felt so confused in my life.


Now I wasn't only fearing the decision I had made, but what everybody would think when they heard and assumed I went to an event because I simply didn't care...when no one really knew what I was feeling inside....